older writings...

Is this really my life?

A poem to my Mother

DEAR TONI STEPHENS, My MOTHER:

(the crackhead/herion addict/any drug she can get her hands on dope fiend)

It took me way too long to see the whole picture.

I can see you; hopefully it's not in my future.

It took me this long to see your reality and the way it has depleted too less than nothing.

Your effortless attempt to achieve your state of being is long overdue for a quick and surprising reward.

Pathetically you demean and condescend yourself

Contradicting every move you make.

You’re a sorry excuse for a human being.

I am sick and tired of your voice everything you say is the same.

This times its you that should feel this shame.

You disgrace your own presence.

Your brittle weak mind has now begun to take over your decrepit body.

So I watch as you slowly decay and rot away in front of me.

Completely consumed by this strange unexplainable hunger for completion to this metamorphosis...

I watch with anticipation for its completion.

Someday a ray of sunshine will open in that dark clouds lining...

Your dumb childish, unconscious, insecure ploy to gain irrelevant mental power

Is unmistakably the most pathetic thing I have witnessed in a long time...?

As you start your journey to your final descent for an escape from the pit of self-pity created by your own sweet, subconscious, greed.

You have an unseen need for others

To feel personal anguish caused by your devious and conceiving ways.

But now your game is over.

We all know you can't take it, so go ahead and take your only known privilege to achieve personal growth and spiritual enlightenment...

Then you unknowingly distinguish all known ways to survive in this world...

Because without your soul and your spirit you waste you’re only known reality...

Your waste of time, a waste of space, and on a waiting list to pay your dept

To the ones you have betrayed...

The beings that you let down, the beings that you turned away, the beings that turned to you for guidance...

All of us say goodbye and farewell forever.

It's your turn to pay for all the pain you caused to me and to others...

So go ahead and do what calls to your soul…

So go ahead poke yourself with that needle of fury that

Burns your heated passion that controls your every thought...

Your very move...

You have given up that means you forfeit your turn...

Your hand has been dealt...

Surrender your soul to the blackened tar that fuels your veins...

Good riddance to the emptiness that you have created in me.

Because I have solved your riddles and I know how to play your game...

It was me who won your game and as for you…

Game over.

YOUR DAUGHTER, ANGEL SERAFINO.

(the one that you’ll never get a chance to really know,)

A poem to My Brother

MICHAEL James LEE

Hear my plea….

Read my rhyme…

O’ little brother of mine …

I remember when you were only just nine…

That’s when our family seemed just perfectly fine.

I can’t remember when it all began, was it the crack? The heroin? Oh yea it was the berry coolers filled with wine.

Why must we have all this distance between each other?

You are my one and only brother.

I always wanted to take you away from our mother.

Michael my bro don’t let her keep you away from me?

I used to cry for you so badly I couldn’t see…

Her evilness is beyond reasonable explanation …

We may be her seed but never her creation….

The hatred she once created in me slowly died…

I wont let her do me in too, I know I could find the light if I really truly tried.

I know you feel closer to her than I have or will do

But you have to realize in order for her to love you, she must love herself too.

Please hear my prayer for your light to survive…

For within God’s light your true inner strength thrive…

I will always be here for you my little bro.

We love you and miss you …

Angel, tonee Anthony, gigi, and Elijah.

A poem to my Dad, winston lee.

How did you do it for so long ?

Kept your head on straight and seemed so strong.

Always in control of the situation with so much confidence.

Complete control of any and all of her nonsense.

Your inner strength amazes me.

Your daughter again I wish I could be.

Maybe then the stupid accusations and idiotic mind games she tries to play will subside.

Never once does she stop and see me as I cried.

Being completely pushed away and shut out.

We all know what she is all about.

Soon I learned to be my own mother.

Because of her jealousy I never got to really see my father or younger brother.

Why must she hate me so?

This I will never ever know.

What did I do to her for her to abandon me ?

The tears have now finally stopped and I realize now what has to be.

But when she takes her last breathe, its then I will see the light she kept on hiding from me.

Then I hope my dream will come true, a family again -me, my dad, and brother will finally be able to see.

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