clinging to my grief like its a lifeline. i cling to these memories with so much passion ... so much more passion than i had when the memory was still in the present.i feel myself selling my soul to the past, this makes me ready for the grave or just looking for a way to escape the pain of today....


this is my reality...

i stew in a pit of self pity with a hunger ghost that lives within me that can never be fulfilled. a constant battle from the inner pain that overtakes my very own  soul, my very spirit.  It fuels a emptiness that slowly begins to rot away inside of me. this rotten pain consumes me the anticipation that i feel slowly creeps up my spine to my neck and to my core. the laughter you inject into me up to my core.  i feel it for a just brief interlude of a kiss as you open your eyes and look at me  so briefly you look away quickly, i feel your heart, my spot for such a short moment i feel my heart begin to shrink.i feel you letting me go .. i feel the damage in waves of pain and completely absorbed by this dark side of love. my veins feel empty.